I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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