so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
