I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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