if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
