thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
