two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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