I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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