Fuck appropriateness.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
