just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
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