I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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