You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
