That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
