my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
