I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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