Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
