I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
