My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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