So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
