I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
