haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
