And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
