guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
