im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we're making bets on your personal life
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize