I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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