Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
