This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My feet surprised me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
