Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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