The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
