I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
