Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
