she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
