I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
