please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
