im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
