Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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