Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
