I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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