dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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