I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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