i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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