thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
