I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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