I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
pop tarts are not kleenex
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
