Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
