Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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