You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
