There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
