So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
