i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
