just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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