And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you made out with another girl for some wings
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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