I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
