You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
