I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
need another drink. this is the easiest way
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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