i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
