I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize