the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize