Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
