oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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