If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
