Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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