Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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