Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
