your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
