what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
