I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
